My only wish
by phantom.ryder
Summary: [SachikoxYumi, YoukoxSei] Sachiko asks her oneesama and Rosa Gigantea to deliver a very important letter to her petite soeur on the day after her wedding... but they weren't ready to wait until it was too late. Is Yumi? ...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of characters used. All are licensed to their respective owners. I am not making any money through authorship of this fic.

--

Chapter One

--

_Dear Yumi,_

If you are reading this letter it can only mean one thing. The day that I have been dreading, even before I knew it was to come… has been and gone. I am married now… probably being driven far away from Tokyo. Far away from the one I truly love.

Yes Yumi, I said it. Well, wrote it if you wish to argue the point. I'm smiling you know, smiling and crying at the same time… sitting here, thinking of you. You, who taught me how to accept such contradictions that exist within myself.

My dear Yumi, I love you... I'm… in love with you. That's something I've only said once before… and I've only heard it once from your lips. I'm not even sure if you understood it in the way I meant you to. After that… I suppose we carried on playing our games, holding each other close, yet never close enough. Always together… and mostly apart.

Now, I do not even know if I am writing this so much as a confession, rather more of an apology.

I'm sorry for never being able to show you how much I care for you. I can picture your face as you read that last sentence… you'll be disputing me I'm sure, wanting to tell me that I was there for you, that I did show I care. That is your way Yumi always choosing to comfort me regardless of the situation… or my behaviour.

In any case, regardless of how much care or support I offered you… none of it ever came close to conveying how strongly I feel for you.

If I only had one wish, it would be that you and I lived together, in a world other than this one. Where one's need for freedom is never negated by duty. Where character is never measured by the amount of one's sacrifice.

In that world… as well as this one, my only wish is to be with you.

Is it stupid of me to write this to you? Is it cruel? I guess I think it is… cruel for the both of us, but still, I believe that you needed to hear these words, even if they are the last I say to you. I love you Yumi, you are the most precious thing in the world to me, and you always will be.

I promise to keep you in my heart, for you are whom my heart belongs to.

_Forever thinking of you, Love always,_

_Your Sachiko. (I do believe after all that… onee-sama is a little inappropriate)._

--

Fukuzawa Yumi held the fragile piece of paper in her hands, she cradled it for it in its fragility, it reflected exactly the way she was feeling inside.

Though Sachiko's last line was supposed to wrap the whole thing up in a light-hearted amiable way, as if to say… 'don't worry, it will all be alright, somehow.' Yumi could not be placated.

So she held the letter, it was all she could do. She held it for all she was worth… the letter, the confession, the apology… the honesty that had come a _month too early._

'… '_married now,' 'far away,'_ these fragments swam in Yumi's mind… none were true.

Sachiko's wedding was not until next month… something had gone drastically wrong in the chain the events were supposed to follow. Or, as an even scarier thought for Yumi, something had gone drastically right.

She was on her knees now, in too much pain to cry… too hysterical to be able to show it. All she could do was kneel, kneel and shake. The girl was in a panic, suffering from a total loss of control.

The purity of the words contained in the letter wrapped itself around her heart, those words were everything she ever wanted to hear from her onee-sama, all she ever dreamed about.

But she knew Sachiko was right, the world they lived in, was not an ideal one for fostering happiness… nor for accepting true love over duty.

--

Two young women, slightly older than Yumi was, stood a little away from the girl, exchanging equally pained looks with each other.

Each asking the other silently, 'Was our decision the correct one to make? Did we even have a right to make one in the first place?'

"Yumi," the tallest of them all started but paused as she felt a hand on her arm.

The girl on the floor did not respond, instead she stared at the sheet of paper, the deep orbs that were her eyes now boring holes into it, looking, begging for some sort of clue, an answer to her questions.

'What is this? Why am I holding it?,' Yumi thought furiously, her young mind being overwhelmed by too many conflicting emotions.

'Why does this say my name, why does it say hers? _Love_ it says. _Promises _it offers. What am I supposed to say? What am I supposed to offer?'

"What the hell am I supposed to do?!!," she asked… or rather, she screamed out into the room.

She was full of anger and unchecked frustrations. She just swore, maybe she would be sorry later, at that very moment, she couldn't care less. She was just hit with so much reality all at once. Reality, that was often more a train hurtling in your direction rather than a mere slap in the face.

The older girls were startled by her outburst, but neither was surprised by it. They let the distraught Yumi continue on with her pained tirade. Dutifully keeping their distance, yet silently offering their support.

"What is this? It doesn't even sound like her! Sachiko-sama would never… never write this! This isn't… it can't be her," Yumi began her statement strongly, only to falter near the end, her delivery of the line finishing in a whisper.

'No,' she thought. 'Maybe… maybe this is my onee-sama. It is, she's just being honest now, laying all her cards out on the table because… because she thinks it's too late… because… _she's in pain._'

"Yumi," the tallest said again as she kneeled by the girl and wrapped an arm around her.

The girl's shoulders shuddered a little before they started shaking violently, her tears had now begun to fall, a sign of her emotions catching up with her.

Through her tears she tried to speak, to demand answers from the two that had brought her here, to this place rampant with joyous and painful memories from them all.

They had brought her to the Rose Mansion.

--

It had only been a week since Yumi had graduated from Lillian. Exactly a week. That day was supposed to be a peaceful one, she was scheduled to have tea with two of her most respected and cared for eldest sisters.

Ex leaders of her High School, the elder generations of Rosa Chinesis and Rosa Gigantea, they had brought her here… handed her a letter… and placed the entire world on her shoulders, perhaps knowingly, perhaps not.

Whatever the case, they had decided that the letter needed to reach her. The words it contained, Sachiko's words… needed to reach her at that exact moment.

--

"It was only supposed to be tea," she whispered between sobs, mostly to herself.

"Yumi, stand up."

"Youko, be gentle with her..."

The dark haired girl offered a small smile but shook her head.

"Gentleness is not what she needs. She is Rosa Chinesis, just as I was. Just as we both are and always will be. Yumi please, stand up."

The girl did so, and forced herself to meet her elder's eyes.

Youko sighed and wrapped her arms around the girl as she began to speak softly into her ear.

"Yumi, Sei and I brought you here today and gave you that letter for a reason… we believe in you, in both you and Sachiko. The ending insinuated in that letter, the ending that maybe the both of you were expecting, is not one you should easily accept."

"It's not something we were willing to let you accept Yumi," the former Rosa Gigantea stated, with rare seriousness gracing her features.

"We don't even know what Sachiko wrote in that letter to you, and we don't need to know. But if she asked both Youko and I to deliver it to you the day after her wedding and if the request caused her so much pain as to actually let us see it in her eyes … it was obviously something you needed to read before it was too late."

"This wasn't the way it was supposed to be," Yumi said as she clung onto Youko with Sei's hand placed comfortingly on her shoulder. "She meant it as a goodbye."

Sei gave a wry smile.

"Sachiko often means things in ways she shouldn't," she said.

--

Youko broke their current embrace and looked into the younger girl's eyes once again.

"Do you remember what I said to you just before we graduated? I told you that I was proud of you, because you were someone that could protect my precious petite soeur. I asked you to support her…"

She stopped as she saw Yumi nodding like a child who was being given an errand.

"Yumi, I think you are misunderstanding my intentions," Youko said gently.

"I did not bring you here to repeat myself. Sei and I came here, to support you. Like family should. We gave you that letter to ensure you and Sachiko had a chance to… do whatever it is you need to do before it was too late."

'Whatever it is we need to do… But what do I need to do?'

She looked up at Youko and Sei and begged them with her eyes.

"Why won't you tell me? Tell me what I should do, because I… I don't know."

Youko placed a hand on Yumi's head and gave her hair a few strokes.

"Give your brain a little break Yumi, that is what I think you should do."

At Yumi's questioning look Sei smiled and placed her hand over the girl's heart.

"And I think you should listen a little closer to what this is trying to tell you. Understand?"

Yumi disengaged herself from the older two. Giving them both low bows before offering them the best smile she could muster at that moment, she spoke as honestly as she ever had.

"I don't know what I should do right now. I'm hurting and I'm confused… but I know I'm not lost, I have hope because I have my family. I know I have you and I promise not to cause you any disappointment."

It was a sentence that was perfectly delivered. Youko and Sei should have been proud. The words were carefully chosen, expertly spoken, was honest yet rather vague considering all the things that the girl _wasn't _saying.

Really, they should have been proud. Instead, they were heartbroken.

Yumi was now running on her training, on automatic… she was running on empty.

--

The girl left the room then, saying that she wanted to walk home alone with her thoughts. It was a lie of course, her thoughts were just a constant bombardment of further confusion that she neither asked for nor knew what to do with.

She countered these confusing thoughts with more peaceful ones… _'family,' _she thought. 

Pictures of smiling faces filled her thoughts, The Roses, past and current, each her own person, and yet undeniably bonded to each other. She had offered them all support at one point or another and they offered her theirs.

'Perhaps I need to call on them again,' she thought. 'Or perhaps I need to handle this on my own…'

She ran hand through her hair, unaware of how she should vent her extreme frustrations.

Sighing, she made her decision. It was a sign of the true leadership that had been instilled in her during her training in the Rose Mansion.

If a decision needed to be made, you made it. If there was a problem to be solved, you solved it. If there wasn't anything left you could do… your family would help you. Despair was not an option.

With this mantra in mind, Yumi set off in the direction of her house.

--

Sei and Youko walked home together hand in hand.

"Do you think we did the right thing?," the dark haired girl asked. "Giving her the letter now?"

Sei let go of the girl's hand and instead wrapped her arm around Youko's shoulders.

"I don't think we had any other choice. They're both Rosa Chinesis are they not? There isn't a more debilitating pain than knowing that there's someone out there that you want to spend the rest of your life with and that they feel the same way. If the whole thing is just going to end up as this ridiculously heartbreaking moment in which you both walk away thinking you have no other choice. And you never look back. You never ask why. You just feel your soul dying little by little every day until your body does."

"Sei," Youko whispers pausing to wrap her arms around the taller girl.

"I'll do everything I can for them Youko, everything. I want them to feel the exact peace and joy that they can get only from each other… as I do whenever I'm with you."

Youko smiled and kissed the other girl's cheek.

"I know I don't need to say it but… I'm worried. About both of them, my sisters, I just wish I could take their pain as my own."

Sei nodded.

"I feel the same way. But really we should give them more credit. Sachiko is strong, and Yumi… she still gives me hope."

--

AN: Hey, thanks for taking the time to read my first Maria-sama fic. Just something I decided to write out of the blue, I watched the anime for the first time three days ago so apologies for the character inconsistencies, I will get better. Continuations if anyone is interested XD. All thoughts appreciated and taken into consideration.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

--

_At the Ogasawara Estate…_

Sachiko looked out from her window and blankly stared out into the picturesque view of their traditional garden. She sighed as thoughts of her petite soeur flooded her. Instead of being calmed by the atmosphere of her current location… she found herself being further drained of her energy.

To those who didn't know her very well, Sachiko Ogasawara was thought to be a person of great composure. At that moment in time, it seemed even Sachiko herself would have been willing to admit, she was a wreck.

"I'm so tired… just so very tired."

"Then maybe you should give yourself a little break?," a calm voice suggested from closeby.

--

"Onee-sama… what are you doing here?," Sachiko asked as Youko walked over and sat beside her.

"What do you think I'm doing here?"

"Meddling?," Sachiko offered.

They both smiled at that. They gave smiles ladies gave when they knew someone had just said something to smile at. Sachiko ran a hand through her hair. She was sick to death of smiling _at_ things, now all she wanted was something to smile about…

"Onee-sama?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you read the letter?," Sachiko asked simply, her question being a whispered one.

Youko raised an eyebrow.

"You really think I would meddle that much? … I couldn't. It was sealed."

Sachiko nodded.

"You could have just read it and put it into another envelope."

"I suppose. But it sounds like you want me to know what was in it, you can just tell me you know."

"You still have a month before you give it to her," Sachiko replied, leaving Youko's correct musings just as they were.

"Sachiko, about this marriage of yours…," Youko started.

"I won't change my mind," Sachiko said, wincing as she realized herself how unreasonable she sounded.

"I know you're as stubborn as always Sachiko, but why ask me to give her the letter? Isn't that something you should do yourself?

Sachiko shook her head.

"I could never…"

"Say goodbye like that?"

I don't want to say goodbye at all!

Sachiko's hands were held in tight balls and Youko shut her eyes worriedly as soon as she felt how cold they were.

"Then don't," she said by way of reply.

Sachiko gave a wry smile.

"Life isn't that simple onee-sama," she said.

"Life doesn't have to be so complicated either… you couldn't control which family you were born it. You can't control what your last name is or what your obligations are… you can't even control what you feel in your own heart. It's not complicated Sachiko, in fact its ridiculously simple. Because everything that's complicated… you plainly just have no control over. All you can do is decide what you're going to do, and then act accordingly."

"Onee-sama…"

Youko opened her eyes and in them Sachiko saw quiet, unwavering support.

"I love you so much. Do you know that? You're my baby sister and I would do everything in my power to protect you," Youko said softly, voicing the promise that she had held silently in her head and her heart as soon as her rosary had been passed down to Sachiko.

In that very moment, looking into Sachiko's eyes Youko knew she had done the right thing in letting Yumi read the letter.

'And right now, the best I can do to protect you… is to do everything I can to help Yumi,' she thought.

--

_Fukuzawa residence…_

Yuuki knocked on his sister's door interrupting her quietly raging thoughts.

"Yumi, your guests are here. What are you so busy with? I can do that for you if its just school work…"

Yumi smiled at her brother. They both knew full well whatever she was doing had nothing to do with school work, but being the supportive brother he was Yuuki felt the need to offer something anyway.

"Don't worry about it Yuuki, I'm only writing a letter. But please tell the two of them to come up if that would be alright."

Yuuki just offered her a small smile and nodded keeping his worries to himself. It wasn't everyday Yumi's friends came over. He knew she had sent out a distress call and hurried to send over Yumi's potential saviors to her.

--

As the two yellow roses walked into the room, Yumi stood to meet them.

Rei gave the younger girl a warm hug and Yumi gratefully returned it.

"Whatever you need help with, I'm here for you," Rei said.

Yoshino stood up and before her one-sama could stop her had marched over to the dejected Yumi and rested her arms on the girls shoulders and her forehead on the girl's own.

"Yumi, are we friends?," Yoshino asked bluntly.

"Of course Yoshino, how can you even ask…"

"And you trust me right?"

"Yes of course I do…"

"Then please listen to what I have to say."

Yumi nodded and steeled herself for whatever Yoshino had to say. They were supposed to be adults now, so of course she expected words that equated to 'you have to let it go'.

"Let me explain this in hopefully a clear way in which you will understand. The love of your life is getting married in a month. A month ok? And if you don't do something about it now, she's just gonna walk out of your life forever. Forever."

Yumi winced as Yoshino openly pointed out all the most painful points of their situation.

Yoshino then took a step back to wait for Yumi to say something comforting for herself, something along the lines of… 'it has to be this way'.

"Yoshino… what do I have to do?"

Rei smiled at the two, happy that they seem to have underestimated each other. As she saw how Yumi and Yoshino both took what they wanted from their relationship and gave what the other needed, Rei silently wondered if she should be offering her support to Sachiko instead.

Her little reverie was interrupted by her passionate petit soeur.

"It's obvious isn't it?," Yoshino asked animatedly. "You and Sachiko-sama have to talk this all through, sort it out and preferably let it all end with kissing!"

Yumi nodded, trying not to smile and cry at the same time. She was touched by Yoshino's annoyed worry clearly written allover the girl's features.

"No," Rei suddenly said. 'Looks like I'm needed here after all,' she added in her head.

"Rei-sama?"

"Rei-chan! It's what they have to do!"

"No… Sachiko… she can't. Yumi, she wrote that letter to you for one reason and one reason only. She needed to tell you those things and she couldn't bring herself to tell you face to face. You two will have to talk about this, all of this but not with this deadline hanging over your heads. There's someone else you need to be talking to right now."

With a meaningful smile and a determined nod, Yumi grabbed her coat and breezed through the door.

"Is it just me or did Yumi suddenly become impulsive?," Rei asked.

"She's just learnt to do everything you have to do for love," Yoshino replied. "I suppose life's most important lessons can only be learnt through defining moments."

--

Half an hour later, Yumi found herself standing outside an expensive apartment complex. Pausing only a moment to determine her destination, she made her way up to the top floor.

Knocking on the correct door, Yumi was met by a surprised young man.

"Kashiwagi-san," Yumi said by way of greeting and stepped into the apartment at Suguru's gesture.

The young man attempts to flash his best smile at his younger guest but this soon fades when he sees how serious her expression is.

"Are you alright?," he asked her, placing a gentle hand on her arm.

Yumi shook her head both as a reply and an attempt to clear it.

Giving Suguru a small but sincere bow, she stated her purpose.

"Kashiwagi-san I need your help."

--

_In a nearby café…_

Sei had invited the younger white roses to share a cup of tea with her.

"So that's how it is onee-sama," Shimako said when Sei finished explaining the letter situation between Sachiko and Yumi.

Sei nodded her head as the three of them returned to sitting together in companionable but worried silence.

She then smiled at Shimako and Noriko as she saw how they were comfortingly close to each other.

"I'm happy for you two," she said suddenly.

"Onee-sama… you've known about us for a long time now."

Sei nodded.

"I'm still happy. There's not enough people who are happy these days you know Shimako."

The younger girl disappointedly agreed.

"Onee-sama… what are we going to do to help them?," she asked.

The way Noriko perked up a little at the question showed that she too was thinking the same thing.

Sei gave a small laugh and contemplated the three young women she, Sachiko and Rei had left behind to guide the girls of Lillian.

Yumi's problem was _their _problem automatically.

"Well, as you know, if Yumi and I had switched places… I'd wait for the wedding day, bide my time until the right moment came, announce my undying affection for Sachiko and demand that she marry me then and there. Since we're already at a wedding… I'd assume that preparations would be in place and I wouldn't have to plan anything else…"

"Onee-sama that's just so…"

"Juvenile? Optimistic?," Sei asked as she gave a wry smile.

Shimako shook her head and offered Sei a genuine one.

"No, its just so you."

Sei nodded. "Well now, I suppose we're all too mature being Lillian graduates and all to pull a stunt like that."

"I'll do it," someone suddenly shot out.

"Noriko…," Shimako started, about to lightly chide the girl for making light of the situation until she saw nothing but seriousness written allover Noriko's features.

"I will, I'll stop the wedding myself. This isn't right! They can't just force someone to get married, in any religion marriage is Holy! I'm not a graduate yet… they'll expect something juvenile from me! Please, you have to let me do this." 

The current Rosa Gigantea now spoke with tears in her eyes.

"I don't know how you two do it, I really don't. Even now, years after knowing you both, onee-sama, Sei-sama, you both carry yourselves with such overwhelming dignity. You can sit there and calmly discuss subjects like these. But because I've known you for so long I… I _feel_ the emotion coming off you in waves. I know nothing about this is right! They're in love and they should be together. No matter what happens, we've got to stop this wedding!"

--

_Kashiwagi's apartment…_

"Kashiwagi-san, please you have to stop this wedding."

The usual jovial air that hung about the young man left immediately at the mention of his upcoming obligation.

"So, Sachiko's finally told you," he said after a little while.

"Well, no… not really… she's not aware that I know. I'd like to keep it that way until she and I have a chance to discuss it privately.

Suguru nodded and running a hand through his hair, let out a depleted sigh.

"Yumi if I could have, I would have stopped this wedding long ago. You should know that neither she or I have as much control over our personal lives as we may want. Need even."

--

A knock at the door interrupts the silence that Yumi and Suguru were working on developing between them following his last statement.

As the young man opened it he found himself bombarded by five young women. Four were wearing desparate looks and the fifth just looked annoyed to have to see him at all.

"Suguru! You have to stop the wedding! Even an idiot like you should be able to understand that," she said bluntly.

"Sei-sama?," Yumi questioned, immediately recognizing the voice from Suguru's lounge.

"Yumi?," Sei replied genuinely surprised.

"Please, won't you all come in?," Suguru asked. "I should have figured the Yamiyurikai didn't needlessly do anything alone."

Sei's eyes immediately narrowed at Kashiwagi as they both stared at each other.

"Don't worry Satou-san," Suguru said, breaking their locked visions first. "'m in no mood to war with you either. Seriously, you girls should all come in."

--

Sparing another look at Rei and Yoshino who were puffing, he decided to add a question to the offer.

"Why do you two look so tired?"

"Because you live on the top floor," Rei replied simply.

"And apparently white roses don't stop the elevator for anybody," Yoshino added.

The three girls in question all looked apologetic as Kashiwagi offered everyone drinks and Yumi excused herself to go to the bathroom.

At another knock to the door, Suguru started wondering if there was going to be enough room in his apartment.

As he opened the door, Kashiwagi's eyes widened and he felt the need to deliver his next line in a rather loud manner.

"Sa-chan! What are you doing here Sa-chan? Girls, it's Youko-san… and she's brought Sa-chan!"

"Girls? Are we interrupting a party Suguru?," Sachiko asked as she and Youko stepped into the apartment.

Luckily, a minute before hand, Sei had dashed off to ensure there would be no unexpected heart attack inducing re-unions between Yumi and Sachiko who was surprised enough to see Rei, Yoshino, Shimako and Noriko all having juice with Kashiwagi.

"Uh… I called them," Youko lied to answer Sachiko's unasked question.

"Onee-sama we've been together since this morning when did you…"

"I had a spare moment when you went to freshen up," Youko hurriedly replied.

Sachiko then nodded before turning her attention to her unwanted fiancée.

"Suguru, you and I need to talk."

"Alright…"

--

_In Suguru's washroom…_

Sei wrapped an arm around Yumi's waist and placed a gentle hand over her mouth.

"Yumi, just be quiet a while alright?," Sei whispered. "Sachiko's here but you two shouldn't see each other until you're ready to, and she still doesn't know you've read the letter."

Yumi confirmed her understanding with a nod and Sei removed her hand, the both of them pausing their conversation in order to listen clearly to the goings on in the lounge.

--

AN: Thank you very much for your time. Hope you enjoyed the read! To be continued soon…

--


End file.
